I want to love more

My long-term goal is to love every living being. Meanwhile, I want to spread love as a daily work. It may sound silly, but I take it very seriously. This is how I’ve chosen to contribute to a better world.

I know, it is hard to believe that I reflected a lot to make this choice and that I consider this choice a work but it is result of a reflection that took my entire life.

I remember once when I was a 6th grader, in a very regular day, I looked around and noticed insensitivity in every adult and, worse, in most kids of my age. If everyone could be more attentive to others’ feelings (in 80’s “empathy” was not a trendy word), people would help each other instead of humiliating and harming them. And people wouldn’t have the courage to initiate any war. Then I came with a resolution: I will save the world, making people be more sensitive to others’ feelings.

I’d tried to silence this voice, but it just became louder as time passed. For many years I tried to follow society’s formula of seeking for happiness: I put away my dream of saving the world. I needed to fit, to be like others, what meant sacrificing health and unproductive behaviors like being in the present moment, for example, for the sake of the success in my career, because just career can bring happiness. We are told that to be happy, we have to ignore our essence and chase artificially imputed models of happiness.

But little by little I’m understanding that if we are chasing happiness, we are going to the opposite direction. Because happiness is not an end, it is a way to live the life we have. It can be found just in the present moment, inside us, nowhere else.

Happiness is where love is. If we are seeking something, it means that we are not accepting the present moment, right? And if we are not accepting the present moment, we are not loving the present moment. And we also cannot love the future moment, because it doesn’t exist, we just wish to love a present moment that doesn’t exist yet. We cannot love the past moment either, it is made of thoughts of attachment for a present moment that doesn’t exist anymore. The only moment that exists is the present one. So just the present moment can bring us happiness. Happiness come when we accept what come to us. Acceptance is love. If we accept everything, we love everything. That’s why if we love everything, we are happy. Being happy, we have the strength to act in positive ways, to truly help others, instead of trying to help to cease our own anxiety.

I do want to help.

That’s why I want to love more.

To understand how to be

truly helpful.

But I acknowledge that I do have a good amount of love within me, and that’s why I want to spread love. And fortunately, sharing love doesn’t make me miserable, but makes me love even more.